Eske m pwononse sa kòrèk? Eske m di sa bon? Are these proper translations of “Did I pronounce that correctly?” and “Did I say that right?” Are there better ways of asking this?

The first one is correct.  In the second sentence I’d say “byen” instead of “bon”.

Eske m di sa byen? – Did I say this correctly?

Eske m byen di l? – Did I say it correctly?

Eske m byen pale? – Am I right?

Men wi, ou di l byen. – Certainly you said it well.

Men wi ou kòrèk. – Yes you are correct.

Wi ou byen pale. – Yes you’re right

Haitian Creole ↔ English Reference, Look up Haitian Creole and English Words