In Haiti, not only do you we get to hear tales nightly from our grownups,
we used to listen to nightly "blag" (jokes) on the radio. It was a nice radio program, complete with applause, as I remember it. It is a great pastime when you have no electricity.
This one I've heard a long time ago, when I was still small, on the Haitian radio. I'm not sure of its origin.
A tourist came to visit Haiti for the first time.
He went sightseeing along with a tour guide.
The tourist wasn't impressed at all with Haiti. He found that everything was just too small.
The tourist saw a little house. He asked the tour guide, "What is that?"
The tour guide said, "That's a house."
"That's a house!" cried the tourist all in shock. "Oh no no no! Where I come from the houses are big big big!"
Both men were walking the busy streets of Haiti.
The tourist saw a little car. He asked the tour guide, "What is that?"
The tour guide said, "That's a car."
"That's a car!" cried the tourist unable to believe his eyes. "Oh no no no! Where I come from cars are big big big!"
Both men went into a bookstore.
The tourist saw the little bookstore. He asked the tour guide, "What is this?"
The tour guide said, "This is a bookstore."
"That's a bookstore!" cried the tourist very surprised. "Oh no no no! Where I come from the bookstores are big big big!"
Both men were walking pass Haiti's White House.
The tourist saw Haiti's little White House. He asked the tour guide, "What is that?"
The tour guide said, "That's Haiti's White House."
"That's the White House!" cried the tourist indignant. "Oh no no no! Where I come from the White House is big big big!"
The tour guide had it up to his neck with the tourist. He said to himself, "I'm going to get even with him."
When night came, both men went to sleep in a little hotel. The tour guide waited until the tourist was asleep, he fetched the biggest turtle there was in Haiti and placed it under the tourist belly.
The turtle bit the tourist and took out a big piece of his flesh.
The tourist woke up screaming and scared when he saw the big turtle.
"What the heck is that?!" said the tourist.
The tour guide smiled and said, "That's a bed bug."
"That's a bedbug!" cried the tourist all scared. "Where I come from bedbugs are small small small!"
Needless to say that the tourist took the very next flight out of Haiti.
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